Buried In Words
Red
How lucky she may be, to be in love. He sits in front of the stop sign
Inactive, senses numb. Fighting for a country, flag on his back
Completely shunned. He, she, and the flag all stitched together by
Non-existent wind. She waits patiently, hoping to feel his
Warmth once again, connected by a red thread of hope
Kid Icarus
He took freedom too far
And lost
Everything
His soul could ever hope to savor
Lightness
Floating along on a whim
Feeling content and weightless
Rising to see the universe from above
Achieving validation from a feather
Running Your Mouth
Running my mouth up and down the stairs
Tripping over words
Fumbling to make sense of things
Glass and Paint
He loved the way the glass curved, so smooth to the touch
Colors melded together carefully
Light streamed onto his face as he held it, felt the
Weight and he smiled at his new reflection
-- Anew
Give Me Something
Give me something to love
I don't care if it's a smile
Give me something to laugh about
Even for a little while
Give me something beautiful to see
I'll remember it forever
Because I know how to love it
And it will get me through the endeavors
Give me something irreplaceable
But that can never be lost
It is the most priceless thing of all
But it hasn't a cost
Give me something to look at
Even if just in my mind
Something to appear so vividly
I'll see it all the time
Give me something I'll never forget
You might not know what it is
But it's something intangible
Don't try to guess using a list
Give me something to love
Even if I don't point it out
I want to see it everyday
And I do when you're yourself
Give me something to think about
On cold, lonely nights
Because I know that when I see it
It'll be quite a sight
Give me something amazing
But not too over the top
Something that can't be overdone
But at the same time can't be stopped
Give me something drawn
On paper by your hand
As meaningful as you can make it
Just don't make it bland
Give me something written
As honest as it can be
Make it sweet or make it sour
But the truth is all that matters to me
Give me something precious
That doesn't take any force
It should just come out naturally
Like a winding rivers course
Give me something like little moments
That I can never lose
No matter how hard time tries
The memories can't be refused
Give me something to dream about
Before I go to sleep
Something to make me smile
Before I slumber deep
Unthinking Actions
Bones
Long and white
Calcium filled and smooth to the touch
Small and fragile, you are
As the bones that make up you
-- Skeleton
A prison in which hearts reside
Kept in cages of flesh and marrow
Resting in the cavities excavated
By lone white filigree passages
Each unique to us
-- Ours
Make Them Hear You
Don't be afraid
Do what you have to do
Stand up. Fight back
Make them hear you
Pushed down
Hit by storms
They feel they can do
Whatever they want to us
Some of us take it
Until we get fed up
We're all human
So why is it so acceptable
To society we are small
And we are too susceptible
We take the bruises and scars
We bear the memories of words
Until we've had enough
We always end up breaking
But we keep on mending
We have 'pretend' friends
Our friends are the cuts
The blood and the mirrors
They tell us what to do
They make it much clearer
They make us feel ugly
Like we don't belong
But they also make us feel good
Convince us that we're strong
I'd like to be skinnier and prettier
I'd like to show my scars
I want to speak out
To tell them how wrong they are
We're stronger than them
We've been through the worst
But we bear it because we can
We hate giving in
Giving them the satisfaction
That they'll always win
Our fury and hatred may burn
But once we get through it
It'll be nice to say
That we lived true to it
We lived up to the standards
Tried our hardest to stay alive
But sometimes we'd mess up
And lose our stride
Don't be afraid
Do what you have to do
Stand up. Fight back
Make them hear you
Staring dumb at the twisted glass, he awed at
Its sleek form, longed to
Touch its smooth, shining surface, but was afraid he would
Drop it and break its perfection into a thousand colors
-- Fragility
Staring through the lens at her reflection, he wondered at
Her vibrant eyes, to become dead, still holding
Her figure in his hands, quaking as she melted away, afraid to
Drop and shatter her brilliance into her thousand colors
-- Widower
Blended together, abstract, the paints mix around
Shapes made on an easel
Strong smell of oil and too many brushes to knock over
A broom sits idle to be used later
-- Afternoon Canvas
The colors of our lives twisting
Together as paint into a new color​
Reflecting and blending into one
-- Wedding
Mortal Game
Life is such a mortal game
When we lose, there's nothing to gain
But when we win, it ends in pain
For sorrow & happiness holds tight like a chain
Each action thought through to the bone
Just as easily destroyed by one small loan
No choice is safe, no path is right
We walk alone with graves in sight
To what we may be in the moon or the sun
As soon as you take a breath
The game of life has begun
The rules are strict, your chance is fragile
But be clever enough to not break to smile
At all life offers; well and the tragic
Perhaps you'll witness a miracle
You might believe in magic
But life is still a precious thing
You must cherish it whole
With heart and wing
Though we may not soar or glide in the sky
We still have nerve enough to fly
Because we never have enough
We always want more
We kill for what we don't need
And that is our core
We could thrive on malice
Or enjoy the beauty of the world
We could compare humans to water
Or clouds to pearls
If we all derive from the same ecstasy
Where is the boundary of our sanity
​
Life is such
A mortal game
And when we win
All we get is pain
Kiss the stars each night
Your eyes are a compliment
The night-bringer is a creature
Of alcohol, smoke, and money
Moonlight will make days shine
Sun eclipses sky as clouds
Rain down in crimson lead
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot
Hush, hush snake eyes
Love lays its head down
On a coffin that was once
Its chastised bed
Smell of debt and dusty feet
Smell of regret and defeat
All the suits line up
Along reflective silver lining
To welcome and bathe in light
The unsuspecting spectator
4 different suits of status
To make them anxious
Stay up late to write the cards
With eyes, obsession, and mind
Loud, shattered cries ring around
Sweating, watching, shaking
Cards fall into water
Disrupting the drinkable surface
Lifting the glass for a new
Illusion of victory
As change drains in the dark
Wall of trees, caging
Poking and prodding along
The straight face
As dawn breaks and loneliness
Greets a broken hand in the cell
Cards Dealt At Night
A black crow glides on the wing of the moon
Where it hovers above, a ghostly kite
To circle, circle above the gloom
Its eyes watching and shadow looms
And splitting cries scare away the light
A black crow glides on the wing of the moon
A new flower is soon to bloom
Petals will break off where they might
To circle, circle above the gloom
Night echoes howl, shriek and swoon
But no one shall hear her plight
A black crow glides on the wing of the moon
From the warmth and darkness of the womb
To suffering the world's endless blight
To circle, circle above the gloom
Ecstasy fills her up by a spoon
She escapes to new heights and tries to take flight
To circle, circle above the gloom
Spiral down into the tomb
As the air is buried and the space shut tight
A black crows glides on the wing of the moon
To circle, circle above the gloom
Circle, Circle Above the Gloom
Looking in the mirror, I am surprised
By the face that presents itself to me
When I look into my mind, I see not
An Asian face, the name, nor almond eyes
I am snow with golden skin and glasses
It is expected of me, who is white
To myself; yellow for everyone else
By my genes, I should thrive in math, science
Piano and strings - standard is failure
By how I look, this is how we are taught
I feel differently inferior
I cannot discern this skin barrier​
With one glance in the mirror, awareness
Screams that I'm a minority to you​
Bucket List
10. Wander around this earth and many others
9. Paint the universe of your mind
8. Smell the lilies of Life and Death
7. Complete the question the Magic
6. Soar above earthworms & swim beneath birds
5. Laugh until the ghosts play with you
in their drunkenness
4. See color through blind eyes.
The air's vibrations are a silent orchestra
3. Live a life of stardom in a dumpster
2. Sleep in the sun and watch the shadows
play in bliss
1. Float to the atmosphere with airless balloons.
You will surely see the core of earth
Minor Reflections
I took the same paths and called
for you, even knowing you weren't
there to answer
And I picked up 4 forks... to realize we
only needed 3. How incredible the space
you took up is.
I know you're not dead, but that
doesn't change the
Weight
of your absence
i used to like you, even love you, i think
But you became an unbearable person
To think of
And i crumbled in your presence
- but i still love you so much it hurts
Smoke and Mirrors
The taller you get, the less you see me
I feel like you're trying to pull away
from me, but don't forget
I'm still your best friend
Love, love, love, love
Love all that you will
Love, love, love
Love forever and always
love, love
love through the storm
love
love until you're struck by lightning
- love is a dangerous fantasy
I need someone to shut off
My exhausted brain
and turn on
My aching heart
To know that I am
Alive and breathing
- what is life if I am to suffocate?
Life should find a satisfying end
It won't be surrounded by family or friends
A burst of color is its only stand
That allows you to say "I did" and "I can"
Vibrant Life
Humans destroy each other
They build themselves up an
Blow themselves to pieces
There is nothing for me here
But it looks like a wonderful place
A stagnant world filled with
People who don't change
But who are truly alive
- what are people when all is dead?
Rain, rain go away
Come again some other day
Plants are dead; you're too late
Pour down on a trampled state
Nursery Rhyme
She lit her cigarette and
I waited in,
waded in,
cancerous fumes.
"Really, why did you
call me?
I'm an enemy, you're a hero
so why
did you call me?
Wouldn't you love to see
me die? Wouldn't you
be glad to
see me gone?
Oh, I see," she says, frowning.
"You have no love for yourself,
you loveless hero,
when everyone loves you."
And to my enemy,
and to my best friend,
I smiled. I laughed at her
face of
surprise as I
pulled the trigger
and we giggled like
little children
- a joke too real
To My Sister
You are a dreaming soul
in a dreaming world.
Printed with the pure ink
of the universe.
You are high in a tower
making water pure by the hour.
A cure for my mind,
medicine for my soul. Closure
is found in your laughter
rippling in the waves,
keeping me afloat, and the
voice on the waters
that guides me.
You could be anything
but you make
and give,
and allow me
everything.
A Writer's Craft
Once upon a time...
When I have a pencil in my hand, I
am invincible,
though I form alliances with criticism
against armies of hate.
When I write, shields pour
from my mouth, and swords
burst from my pen
with like and commentary through dreams.
Where I seek to understand
the brigand and mercenary of different prose
where the soldier and tactician
speak in hushed verse of
wars to come and
battles to be one
from outlaws who burn books and
thieves who silence look with
self-proclaimed blasphemy
He built cathedrals out of paragraphs
Letters spilled from his mouth
Into poems one only dared to hear
- a beautiful mute
Why, aren't you a beautiful, little
boy. Aren't you a strong, little
girl. And there is nothing
wrong that would deny you
such freedom.
To fly in the skies and
run through the earth and
dive into the watery depths
I think the sea is only
part water & air
but many parts dreams
and accomplishment
- and so we have done something. What is it?
Everything is slow as I
glance around this room.
People in monochrome view
and barely inching by.
Time is kind of suspended,
or maybe I've stopped
for every else, or maybe I'm
moving too fast.
- Possibility. I. Think.
dreaming about death
is not particularly a bad thing
much less if it's my own death
where I will wake up later
but until then, I watch the scene unfold
as a bodiless onlooker
wondering when the numbness will go away
and I will gasp for air as my eyes
fly open from that dream and I realize
that I'm still alive and breathing
What I Know
That little girl with stars in her eyes
blotted out by clouds,
and just a floating light lost
among way too many of us.
I'm nothing more than a cloud
in your sky.
- but you're more than just air
When I think of you,
I realize how precious my feelings are,
how much they might matter.
When I think of you,
I realize that there are some words I
can never think of the same way again.
When I think of you
- I can only wonder more
I just want to spend time with you.
It's enough for me.
I miss you.
- Is that okay?
We ask forgiveness.
We reject forgiveness.
We pray, we beg, long for-giveness
But when it is given,
we can never accept it.
We even reject it, saying
they shouldn't be letting us off easy.
So what the hell was all that praying for?
What was all your regret for?
Just for someone to show you up
as the better person.
- That. is UNFORGIVABLE
Motto
1. I'll get it done; I always do​
4. I try to achieve but burn out for overachieving and cooking myself​
3. Take every opportunity given, for it may never come again​
6. Look in the mirror and remind yourself of why you can smile​
2. Remain calm. Breathe. Always.​
8. Never forget who you are, first and foremost​
5. Do not push your friends away for silly reasons. You live on their energy​
9. Know your limits, but speak out for what you believe in
Mad Girl
She spoke a language only those like her
Could understand
Made of dreams and hopes, but crushed
By textbooks and government telling her
How to be
How to feel
How to think
How to speak
How could she, when all she knew was sanity?
Peculiar Boy
He starts with a spark, and grows to
Spread light to all he touches
He moves to
Connect people, chasing their air
Setting them alight with life
What's the Point?
Take up arms against this life
Carve out an everlasting mark
You’re so unimportant, it’s laughable
Yet humanity clings to hope
What is this “hope”
Could it be banished all the same?
Once everything is silent
This world falls away
Fragmented in your mind
Aren’t you floating on nothing?
Caught In the Storm
You were a
thundercloud of bruises,
a bullet storm of wounds.
Drenched in words, you
were not afraid to dance
in the rain.
Burning Arrogance
Superiority
I think your arrogance
takes you a long way. But
it's not arrogance, is it?
The words of people telling you
"you are inferior,"
"you are worth nothing,"
have beaten you into a complex.
but it's no complex, just a
simple drive to prove
that you are
alive.
Brandish your pride of living.
It is the hottest fire you'll ever light.
Though society will douse you
like firefighters,
and the government could
call you an
illegal destruction,
there is no law stating
"Fires must burn innocents."
Don't think that you will
scorch the trees. They
marvel at your beauty
and through you, they will
always be born anew.
We drank the paint dry & cried tears of ink
Drowning in song & acting our way out of the rope that
Tied our bodies that struggled to break free & dance on clouds
- i tried to be an artist
I saw a world reflected in the mirror
Clear and distorted where images
Never changed unless the sky did
Where buildings ended, so did the
World. I longed to smash each pane
To the ground and see what could
Exist behind such a world
But that it breathed in the glass itself
And may never truly change
But only as our reflections
- the revelation was heartbreaking
A thousand "sorries" will not
erase the past.
A million "thank you's"
are still too little to
express my gratitude. So,
please make do with the fact that I
still love you
- even if you don't know it
Why?
"Why?" A question I have come to hate
after being asked so many times.
I feel I accidentally skipped the answer
while searching for it.
I didn't hate the boy who asked it to me,
but i came to hate that
questioning tone, that didn't believe me
even though he assured me I
would get better.
7, 8, 13. The pieces of my
energy southing
from the rooftops, my
presence is so
present. with a pretty red bow
and wrapping paper
to tie up loose ends
and a crappy wrapping job to boot
torn to shreds by draining negativity
- my harmony is unbalanced
Checkup
I ask, "Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'll be fine," you answer softly.
I frown and think,
You'll 'be,' but you're not
right now.
Don't say that when there
are tears in your eyes.
But all I say out loud is, "Okay."
Glass breaking: isn't it such as the fragility of life?
Glass may fall and crack, but it may not break
There is beauty in mending those cracks
- like wounds turning into scars
i used to like you, even love you, i think
But you became an unbearable person
To think of
And i crumbled in your presence
- but i still love you so much it hurts
Are you okay?
If something happened and you
keep it in, it'll just poison you.
I'm your best friend, and I
accept your decision.
Remember,
- i'll follow you to the end
This world just steals everything from us:
money, family, hope, even fear.
It steals our time, our senses and bodies.
But that is only the world.
Society steals our livelihoods.
We steal our own motivations and dreams,
so why do we always want more?
- what is life if we are to be strangled by it?
i have complaints, but
i don't want to say them.
you may find it bothersome, and i
have no indication. so
when i question why you ignore me,
please don't be upset. anyway i
keep all these things in
so you won't have to know.
- but it hurts a lot
"It's not my fault" you scream.
no, it's not your fault. I shouldn't
have to tell you that. As long as you know
you're innocent, no one else matters.
- that’s acceptance
Rooted
I don't want to love you.
I really don't want to love you.
But it's hard when you
haunt my dreams and consume my
morning thoughts.
Your eyes surround me, your voice
an echo I can't quite cling to.
The feel of your embrace is so
prevalent, and I fall
all over again.
I met you at an experiment, though at
the time, that experiment was me.
You weren't born with magic in your veins,
- just like I was not supposed to be born like this
I like to think I'm kind
but it gets to the point where
I cannot tell others' intentions.
All your kindness, I fall in love with,
but my heart gets quickly broken
in the end.
- my heart can't take this anymore
i'm really tired. Not just
of doing work, but sometimes even
thinking is laborous.
- and i'm still going
When everything is dark and gray
And you can't see the light of day
The hope seems oh so far away
On days when all looks cold and gray
I don't see things in color brown
But blue, I guess, can make one frown
That color makes such a lovely sound
I wonder where beauty can be found
Little yellow leaves
And red maple leaves
Will always please and ease
Such hearts as these
The vibrant grass on the ground
And all the water to be found
The quiet whisper and the loud
Of voices being drowned
All these colors, cruel or felt
Will always hold me true
Because these little things of life
They all remind me of you.
Burst of Color
Everything my hands touched
Was like poison
My hands hurt everything they could
And to think I kept these hands
Stuffed in pockets of sweaters
All to hide them from the help they could
Bring to others
For fear that hurting was too great an option
​
These little hands that reached out
To nothing close
Could only wound and be hurt
I could not pull back
For hesitation I could not explain to myself
Small fingers that froze in ice
Not to be thawed by winter’s touch or burned
These little hands… how I hated them
But to find closure in all they did right was freeing
Little Hands
Banish reality
Banish dreams
Banish everything that makes you
But you cannot banish music
Banish the lies
Banish the truth
Banish yourself
Then who are you?
Take up arms against this life
Carve out a mark to last nevermore
You're so unimportant, it's laughable
And yet humanity clings to hope
Something called "hope?" What is that?
Could it be banished all the same?
Banish the flowers
Banish sky
Banish all around you
You cannot banish music
Once everything is silent
This world falls away
Fragmented in your mind
Aren't you floating in nothingness?
Once you have banished it all
There is everything left to lost
Banish even your soul
Banish it all
You cannot banish music
Banish the music that has lived in
the soul that has existed evermore
Banish
Losing love feels like losing your soul
All that it leaves is a gaping hole
Is my heart broken, beyond repair
Can I still love you? Are you still there?
There’s no way it’s how it’s meant to be
Even so you still hold on to me
You say you still love me but is it true
Now I’m not sure that I love you
You’re worried that we won’t feel the same
I will always keep your heart within my aim
No room for a lover in your life
But my love can handle any strife
You will still be happy in the end
Whether or not I remain your friend
Love
You give, give givegivegive
You take, take, take taketaketaketake
Give life, happiness, fortune
Take, take, take taketaketaketake
Have fun, make friends, give money
Take take taketaketaketake
Drink too much, get too high givegive
Givegivegivegive your whole life up
Taketaketaketaketaketake
Take everything that is & isn't yours
Give, give givegive nothing in return
Take it all for yourself
And taketake take take, take, take
Take until you are nothing
And no one gives you another chance